Monday, November 15, 2010

Did I ever tell you about the time I lost The Bachelor?

t-BONE is back from a jaunt out West and is very well rested. Sorry that I could not fulfill your needs with a post last week but even t-BONE needs a break every once in a while so give me a break man. So on to the show…
A couple of weeks ago lady-BONE went out of town on business. As a joke I changed my relationship status on Facebook to single. Hilarious, right? I know. Within minutes, if not seconds, several people responded.  All of them had an opinion. Funny enough, the only person that didn’t seem to care was lady-BONE. Should she have? I mean you leave a smoking hot piece of meat unattended in the dog pound and it’s gonna get eaten.  Well regardless, she has a pretty good sense of humor and didn’t really seem to care much.
t-BONE started to think about the single life and how much fun it was. I decided to make an effort to recreate bachelorhood for a week. I was going to eat pork in my underwear on the couch, leave the dishes in the sink and let the laundry lay on the floor. I also planned to go out for drinks every night. Tracey left on Tuesday so that night I was going to hit the gym and grab dinner and a few beers at the bar with some friends—typical t-BONE Tuesday eight years ago.
Turns out no one I know regularly grabs beers on Tuesdays anymore. I was left going to the gym, cooking dinner and watching the tele. No problem, even real bachelor t-BONE had some down nights and I had all week. I lit the grill and threw on some delicious looking pork. The flame was hot and the sizzle really got my juices flowing. I grabbed a beer to cool myself down. Once inside I decided to eat on the couch, nothing new, but opted to keep my shirt on as it no longer seemed cool to lick pork drippings out of my chest hair. I spent the night switching my attention between TV, Esquire and The Big Short (which is excellent, BTW). A couple of beers later I hit the sack.
Wednesday I planned to see what was going on around town. Nothing looked that appealing but I figured something would come up along the way. I got home, went for a quick run and then decided I really just felt like staying in, eating leftovers and watching Modern Family. It was funny as usual; I LOL’d a couple of times and found it extremely enjoyable. I made a point to save it for lady-BONE to watch once bachelor week was over and I returned to the real world. Against the intent of the exercise I know, but I figured once this little game was over I would be better off if it was on the DVR. Especially after the whole airplane upgrade fiasco.  
Thursday night would be the big night, maybe put together a crew and really take it to the town.  Thursday morning rolled around and I was up for whatever came my way. I got to work, and even started doing some recon on Metromix. Then I got bogged down on some work projects and lost interest. The big night turned out to be finishing off those delicious pork chops (yep three nights in a row) and several drinks with dog-BONE while finishing up some work. I had time to go out after that, but really had no interest or energy.
Turns out bachelorhood seemed fun at the time, and it probably was, but it’s really no longer for me. I will likely never know whether it was really a blast or I just didn’t know any better. I have lost interest in going out and coming home alone every night. I have apparently been reprogrammed to think that eating in your underwear is not cool or comfortable. I can no longer leave dishes sitting in the sink or clothes on the floor overnight. Maybe I can actually, I seem to have no problem doing it when Tracey is around. Maybe I feel like she is somehow here when the place is clean and I am living somewhat civilized like when she is around. I loaded the dishwasher (I still didn’t prewash because it’s useless) and cleaned up my clothes every night before bed. I walked and fed the dog morning, evening and night. I even made sure the clothes were cleaned, folded and put away and that the dishwasher was empty before my lady returned home. I must say at this point in my life I am much happier to no longer be the bachelor.
Stay Thirsty My Friends
By the way, I have noticed that At Home has a real life celebrity follower. Tori, I hope you find my work as entertaining as I find yours. Let me know if you are ever interested in writing a guest blog about your life experiences.


  1. I will never ever stop eating in my underwear, and you are welcome to do the same when I see you in a couple of months.